Couples Counselling

Helping couples improve connection, communication & confidence in their relationship

Couples counselling helps clients learn the skills required to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Our therapists are passionate about helping couples improve the quality of their relationships. Each of us specializes in marriage, couples and premarital counselling.

We believe that a connected, trusting, committed couples relationship is the basis for a strong family and provides a secure base for a happy life.

Counselling

Issues We Address

Our therapists are experienced in counselling couples with the following types of issues:

Healing From Infidelity

Is it possible to heal from an affair?

Rebuilding after an affair requires willingness from you and your spouse to engage in self-reflection and to come to understand yourselves and each other better. Emotional and physical infidelity are among the most challenging and painful of problems a couple can experience, and not all relationships heal from the effects of betrayal. We do wish to assure you, however, that with renewed commitment, transparency, and hard work it is possible to heal from infidelity and to build a new relationship with your partner, if that is what you decide you want to do.

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Some things you can do right now

Self Care – In the aftermath of finding out about an affair, you will likely experience heightened stress, increased vigilance and hyper-sensitivity to triggers and cues that remind you of the infidelity. Try to make a point of sitting down with a pad of paper and make a list of basic things that you can do to take care of yourself and to ease the burden on your brain and body. These steps can include making sure that you eat a nutritious breakfast, lunch and dinner, cutting down on refined sugar and avoiding foods that are not rich in vitamins, minerals, fiber and other nutrients.

Educate yourselves with well-researched, informative and accurate information about understanding the impact of infidelity on a relationship, understanding why infidelity happens and how to heal from it.

Improve Communication & Manage Conflict

Benefits of Couples Counselling for your Communication

Couples counselling can help you achieve the following important benefits in your relationship:

Recommended Resources

Some things you can do right now

Avoid speaking criticisms – When we feel upset or hurt by something our spouse has done or said, we often express it by finding fault with our partner’s motives or character. Try to let your spouse know what you feel (i.e. hurt or sad or alone) in response to his or her actions without being judgmental of those actions. For example, “When I came in tonight and you didn’t say anything I felt hurt and unimportant.”

Ask for what you want – Once you can pinpoint your feelings, it often becomes easier to identify what you need, and from there to pinpoint something specific you would like your spouse to do that would help meet that need. For example, “I would really like it if we could greet each other and talk for a few minutes when we see each other at the end of the day.” Asking for what you want in positive terms (i.e. “more quality time together”) rather than complaining about what you don’t want (i.e. “you’re always ignoring me”) can help your partner understand that you are seeking solutions rather than being critical of him or her.

Set aside time to talk – Arguments often erupt over small things when there are brewing feelings about unmet needs that have been building up over time. It is common for people to avoid discussing hurt feelings for fear of sparking conflict and fighting. This leads to growing resentments that can fuel the very blow-ups one might be trying to avoid. Setting aside time to talk frankly about things like what is going well as well as what is challenging for you can help you address hurt feelings before they have a chance to get worse.

Build Emotional Intimacy & Become More Connected

Emotional connection is the lifeblood of a thriving relationship.

We believe that strong relationships are based on both keeping the negativity in the relationship low (i.e. reducing negative attitudes, criticism, defensiveness, etc.) on the one hand, and building friendship, goodwill and emotional connection, on the other.

A couple’s intimate friendship includes gaining knowledge of your partner’s feelings, dreams, preferences, styles and goals. It includes tuning into your spouse’s emotional needs and being responsive to them with care and attention. Building fondness and admiration for your partner, communicating the positive feelings you have for your spouse, and having fun together are also an important part of deepening your emotional connection.

Counselling

Getting Started

At Calgary Couples Counselling Centre, we can help and look forward to connecting with you.

At Calgary Couples Counselling Centre, we help you connect with well-trained and experienced counsellors who specialize in couples therapy and who can guide you on the right path toward a happier and more satisfying relationship.

Reaching out for help or support takes courage and we are here to help you take that first step. If you are currently struggling in your relationship, know that it is possible to have love, intimacy and deep connection in your life.